Missionary Experiences

Interview to Emily and Rafael Harrington in “Misión sin fronteras”.

A couple of lay people who found love and inspiration giving them up to children with different abilities and their families.

The Harrington lived their first year of marriage in the United States and were prepared to collaborate with the work of the Comboni missionaries in Peru. They came to Lima from Minneapolis, Minnesota, three years ago and the next day departed for Trujillo, where they were expected for 30 children of a school for special children. The couple ends this year the first period of work and assesses whether to renew the commitment. Challenged they tell us some details of their experience.

What activities have you carried out in these three years?

Emily: We work in three centers in the parish: Santa Rosa, Kumamoto and Villa El Paraíso, all on the outskirts of the district of El Porvenir. In Santa Rosa, I supported in the field of school psychology and Rafael in physical education. I participated in school for mothers and, during Lent, in a prayer group with my husband. In addition, a community of ladies get enthusiastic with baking, asked the school principal to give a workshop and I was elected as coordinator. Three times a week, we attended Kumamoto children, sometimes at Villa El Paraiso, in the organization of academic reinforcement, prayer and games.

What challenges do found in your work?

Emily: The first months were used to meet neighbors. In Kumamoto, it was difficult to summon them because we do not live there and we knew just a few people. The pastoral center was closed and when we opened the doors no one entered. We had to go out and find the children. Now there are so many that we have to divide into small groups to work in comfort. In Santa Rosa, the challenge was to organize my work in the department of psychology at the special school, because I was mistaken for therapist. When someone needs this attention I refer to the appropriate person.

In the group of pastries, moms were happy from the first meeting. However, the challenge in that group was the lack of resources and small infighting. From these crises, they learned to work in teams, created rules and regulations and made better decisions.

Rafael: The first difficulty I encountered in physical education was the lack of adequate training to customize my therapeutic interventions. Each child has different abilities: one is in a wheelchair, some do not walk well or their intellectual state differs from the rest. I could not help everyone equally. My treatment has been general to include the majority. One or two children have been left out because they require the undivided attention of a person.

The second limitation was the lack of resources. For example the first year, the school did not even have a ball and gradually we acquired the basic equipment needed. Third, the school is small and the recreation space is not enough to perform well physical activities.

How do you help the mothers of the children?

Emily: Families usually do not easily accept to have at home a child with different skills. They have to live with the burden of the people on the street, which stares at them or makes inappropriate comments. Following that, we created a support group for moms who meet twice a year. There they have opportunity to talk about their experience. I accompanied the moderating an also control the time so that everyone gets the chance to talk and at the end of the cycle we do a little walk. It is an activity that ladies like and ask when we organized another meeting again.

What joys has given your work?

Rafael: One of the positive things has been encouraging basketball as the main sports. We achieved that each child has its own ball. Therefore, this year has increased the population of special children now attend 30. I like to see how each child progresses through simple little things that are great achievements for them. For example, there was a boy who could not jump, but after a lot of work and effort, at the end of year managed to do it. The smile you get when they achieve their goal is exciting. To see the fruit of their dedication is a gift from God. Another nice moment is to see how a young boy from his wheelchair participates in basketball, his teammates push him and he bounces the ball. Rarely score a basket, but when he get the ball, everybody clap and cheer him.

Emily: In the group of moms the activity that unites us is the pastry, but we are there for something else. Once I asked the ladies: “Why do you come?” They mentioned that they do it to make friends, share ideas or to have a space to unfold, but nobody remembered the pastry. They are there to something deeper and has been very good to see how developed the group. For example, two ladies lived on the same block for over twenty years but they didn´t know their names. Last year it was born from them to say a prayer at the beginning and end of the meetings. And even though not all are Catholic, because we have an Adventist lady, take turns leading prayer. This year we made pastries inclusion. We organized a share in the chapel and invite other children to create bonds of friendship. Unfortunately, some children copy the attitudes of their parents and there were children who did not want their special companions dealt them biscuits.

What do you take from this experience?

One comes to the mission with the idea that will give more than receive. But it is never like that. In the mission one receives more than you can give. For me the smile of a child is the most you can receive and the most he can give. I lived in an orphanage and when missionaries arrived to offer me an hour to play, that was enough. I don´t remember gifts or things, but the support of many people. My presence among them is the most important and I do the impossible to make a child smile.

Something you wish to add?

Emily: From the perspective of our friends in the United States, we have stopped our lives for three years to come to the mission. But for me it has been to discover the richness of life.

Rafael: In North America we have forgotten the simple things, our friends tell us that we have sacrificed our lives. They do not know that we are growing and we are uniting ourselves more. The mission has been an experience we could not buy with all the money in the world.

I recently went to visit two of the ladies from the women’s baking group, whom I hadn’t seen for a couple of weeks. I decided to bring them my portion of the desert that the group and I had made that day, yogurt cake with peaches. When I arrived at the first house, I was greeted by Rocio. She accepted the cake and disappeared into a room at the far end of her house. She returned with a smile and a huge slab of chocolate fudge cake that she had just finished making.

As I left her house, chocolate cake in hand, I shook my head, thinking, “It is impossible to give something to a Peruvian without them giving me something in return.” I have several friends who sell food in the market and on the streets. If I try to buy something from them, they often won’t accept my money. If they do let me buy from them, the next I pass by they insist on gifting me at least as much as I originally bought from them.

Arriving at the second house, Manuela greeted me with a hug. She happily took the peach cake, and replied, “Es un trueque entonces. (It’s a trade then).” Before I could respond, she went into her house and emerged with a cup of arroz zambito (the Peruvian version of arroz con leche/ ride pudding).

I thanked her for the arroz zambito and told her that it was very kind but not necessary, as she relies on the sales of the rice desert as an income for her family. Manuela smiled and explained the cultural importance of a “trueque” (exchange of goods). She related that it is a cultural value passed on by the Incas that continues to be an integral part of the Peruvian culture.

Rafael and I were taught something very similar in an intensive course on Peruvian realities that we completed in Lima in 2012. One of the professors taught us that reciprocity is a key value of the Peruvian culture, a value which has a historical basis stemming from the Incas, whose economy was based on a barter system. If someone does something for you, you find a way to do something beneficial for them. I can see this value in action in my everyday life here. Any act of service on my part has been selflessly returned to me, often in ways surpassing anything I have done. My experience of mission here in Peru has been one not just of giving, but of learning to humbly receive what others give me. The people do not give out of their excess or surplus, but rather they give of the best they have to offer.

One of the women from the baking group recently told me that she would like to prepare lunch for Rafael and me. She stopped by my house early one morning and told me not to not cook lunch that day. At exactly 1:00pm, the Peruvian lunchtime, she arrived with two heaping plates of food for us. She hadn’t prepared just any meal. Weeks before making this lunch, she had casually asked us what Peruvian dish we like the most. This past Sunday she came bringing us this very meal, “Aji de Gallina.” There are ways to cut corners economically when preparing this dish, but without her having to say anything, I could tell that she had used the very best ingredients at the market. I was at a loss for something to give in return, but it was not necessary. This was a special, loving gift, which she happily gave, without expectation of anything in exchange. I am continually amazed by the people’s generosity and thoughtfulness, and their practice of the principal of “el trueque.”

Emily Harrintong