Comboni Lay Missionaries

Mourning and Healing

CandelThe traditions of mourning the death of a loved one here in Ethiopia are some of the most different to us coming from a western culture.  Funerals are significant occasions here that involve the entire community. A white tent pitched alongside a house or the street is a sure sign of a family in mourning. When a person dies, mourners gather at the deceased’s home to comfort the family. The mourning tent will remain up for more than a week and during that time the family is never alone. Friends and relatives (and distant relatives and acquaintances) will come by each day to speak and offer their condolences but mostly to sit in silence with the family.  A typical funeral may be attended by thousands of people.

The family is usually a member of a local community group called an Idir.  It is a self-help funeral insurance club, and members meet monthly to make decisions about funds.  At the committee members’ discretion, funds might also be used for credit or during times of hardship. A typical Idir may be composed of 50 families.  Every month each family in the Idir contributes approx 15 birr (1$) to the fund, and if someone in their family dies, a sum of money will be given to the family to help with the costs of the burial and funeral.  While the family is grieving, the Idir will also quickly mobilize to make decisions for them and provide the mourning tent, large pots for cooking, utensils, chairs, benches and tables.  The Idir’s whole raison d’être is to provide a dignified and proper time of mourning for the family and it does this by lifting the entire weight of funeral logistics and finances from the family.

When visiting the family’s house to mourn, it is amazing that many times no words are said at all.  People will come and go, without saying anything or without even directly greeting the mourning family members. Sometimes in life words are insufficient and Ethiopians abide by this truth when it comes to mourning.  The important thing is to be present.  A few times, my (Mark) whole office has been closed for the entire staff to go mourn.  Our whole group (with women wearing black scarves over their heads) would enter the compound or house and sit down in silence on long wooden benches, with seats closest to the mourning family being presented to the elder or highest respected guests.  We would sit in silence for maybe half an hour with a piece of bread or roasted barley being served to us.  Then after a suitable amount of time, Fr. Sisto, the director of our office and most elder (with appropriate white hair) would stand and say a few words and a prayer for the deceased and the family. Our whole staff would then process out quietly without a word.

Forty days after the death there is another big celebration to mark the end of the main mourning period.  Typically during the forty days, family members of the deceased would wear different garments (mostly black) and hairstyles (widows often cutting off their hair).  Many times some relatives would come and sleep at the mourning family’s house for the entire 40 days to ensure that they are not alone.  A small memorial altar is usually assembled with a photo of the deceased and a burning candle.   The 40 day celebration typically involves a memorial mass at the church (for Orthodox and Catholics) followed by a meal at the family’s home. The white tent will be set up again and members of the Idir will come and help with cooking and preparations.   In October, the father of one of our closest friends died while I (Maggie) was working in the south and being in the rural countryside I didn’t receive the news until a few days after the funeral.  After returning from the South, I really wanted to attend the 40 day celebration to give my support to her and her family.

Our friend lives in Awassa but her family is from the small town of Kebre Mengist about 10 hours away. I stayed at her house here in Awassa the night before our departure so that we could catch the 4am bus together. We arrived two days before the celebration to help with preparations.  We walked from the bus station and were in the middle of normal conversation as we entered the family compound when suddenly everyone burst into tears and wails.  This was a final outlet to release the residual sadness that still remained. We wailed until one of the elders, an Uncle, simply said, ‘it is enough’ and then we moved on.

The next day at dawn an ox was bought and slaughtered and women began arriving in large numbers with baskets of onions, garlic, tomatoes and carrots tied on their backs.  They sat under the shade of the trees, working away at peeling and chopping vegetables or sorting lentils in colourful woven baskets, and chatted as they worked.  The full day they prepared stews and injera for the next days’ lunch.  I joined in and they let me stir the stew in a massive 200L pot. The work was broken up by coffee ceremonies throughout the day. Incense wafted in the air. People sat and people stayed.

They appreciated that I wanted to be there with them, and I was even given a sleeping place of honour in a bed (..with my friend and her aunt!). Eight other relatives slept all around us on various forms of mats and mattresses on the ground.  The mass at the Orthodox Church the next morning was simple and meaningful and hundreds of people came afterwards to share lunch together.  For us, we barely left the sleeping room all day. We sat, and people came, and rested, and told stories and shared memories.  There was far more talking than during the days immediately after the death, which reveals that the 40 days of intense mourning, letting all the feelings and tears out, has brought a healing that may otherwise not have come without this journey.

– Maggie

Maggie, Mark and Emebet Banga, Comboni Lay Missionaries, Awassa, Ethiopia

Greetings from London

LondonWe’d like to share our community life in London with you. Our first impression is very positive. The community is much opened and fathers are very helpful and polite. Of course, for them it’s a little strange situation having four young girls living with them. But they got used to live with us and us with them.

The most important thing is learning English in the Stanton School of English, but not only. It’s time for our community, so we learn how to live together and we learn from each other. Naturally we have our own timetable which includes our activities, e.g. meetings about Uganda, meetings about thing which are important and interesting for us. We also have meetings with the fathers about the Lent and different theological issues… We also try to have a community day. This is time for us, for common prayer, for adoration and for relax 🙂

The 15th of March we celebrated the birthday of St. Daniel Comboni. It was a big feast for our family, for fathers, sisters and lay people who live in London. Great day!!! We could feel like one big family. And Comboni sisters invited us for dinner. So last Sunday we could meet all sisters who live in London. Their community consists of 14 sisters, so it is really big. They shared their mission experiences with us and gave us many useful guidelines.

We are here just 3 weeks so we can’t say more. It’s a short general sharing to inform you that everything goes well. Although it’s a busy time, we are very glad that we are here.

Greetings and hugs from our community

[Mozambique] Mission Animation with youth of the parish of Carapira

03-Animacao ChegadaOn 16th March this year there was a meeting of young people from the district of Mutoro, one of 3 areas of the parish, involving 96 young including coordinators and animators of Missionary Childhood and young people from 40 communities of 10 areas in this region. At this meeting the CLM and training candidates participated in a moment of missionary animation with youth. The meeting began at 13 hours with the presentation of the participants, where the laity in formation spoke about their history in the group.

Therefore, Mozambique has 3 foreign CLM and 4 Mozambicans lay missionaries in training. Comboni Lay Missionaries shared the story of St. Daniel Comboni, who was a son of a poor Italian family and also shared that the Comboni family are composed of priests, brothers, sisters, lay and secular.

During the conversation a young man asked what means to be secular. Secular means to be a consecrated lay missionary who lives her vocation within her family without the marital union.

We also spoke of some requirements to become Comboni Lay Missionary.

The missionary animation meeting ended with the song << Rejoice in the Lord always. >>

Flavio, LMC and Zeferino, candidate in formation of the Comboni Lay Missionaries

[Portugal] Echoes of the March 2014 meeting

On 8 and 9 of March, a training meeting of the CLM, in the house of Coimbra, was held. The theme was “The documents of the Church”. The training was led by the CLM Susana Vilas Boas, amazing as always. It was also with us Fr Manuel Lopes.

Despite the complexity and richness of theme, the creativity of the presentations made it to be a nice training around the basic texts of the Church motivating the desire to know. We recognize the importance of the documents to live the faith and mission in communion, as members of the Church of Christ.

The program included the presentation of the most relevant documents for the Mission followed by the reading and debate in group and then sharing together. I transcribe fragments of the selected texts:

  • Humanity can have hope and should have hope: the living and personal Gospel, Jesus Christ himself is the “news” bearer of joy that the Church proclaims every day and who is a witness every day. (Laici Christi fideles)
  • The envoy enters into the life and mission of the One who “emptied himself, take the form of a servant. So, be prepared and be faithful lifetime in a vocation, to resign yourself and all your stuff, and be everything to everyone. (Ad Gentes)
  • With the message of the Gospel, the Church offers a liberating and creative force for development, precisely because it leads to conversion of heart and mind, does recognize the dignity of each person, encourages solidarity, commitment and service for other to insert man in God’s plan which is to build the Kingdom of Peace and Justice, already in this life. (Redemptoris Missio).
  • To each disciple of Christ incumbent the commission to spread the faith, according to his own measure. (Lumen Gentium)

The exchange was synthesized by each one in a word, that we share in the Evening Prayer: commitment, community, communion/community, will, responsibility, humility, generosity and mission.

On Sunday morning, we read the Holy Father’s Francisco message for Lent. Disturbing and challenging: “For the reason of all this is the divine love. A love that is grace, generosity, desire for closeness, which no doubt to give himself and sacrifice for their beloved creatures (…) Do not forget that true poverty hurts”.

The times of prayer set the tone of the meeting and gave meaning and force to our purposes of communion and mission in the Church.

The meeting did not miss the joy, sharing, music, sunshine and flowers…

For all this, Thank goodness!

by Patricia

 

Final Vows of Sr. Lilia (Comboni Missionary Sister in Carapira)

The mission team from Carapira held a big party on March 15, celebrating the birth of St. Daniel Comboni and the lives that continue consecrating. On this day was the sister Lilia Karina Navarrete Solis, who made her perpetual profession, with the slogan “I consecrated you and appointed you a prophet to the nations” (Jer. 1:5). Known as Sister Lily, is a Mexican citizen and works as director of the Health Centre in Carapira. Everything took place in a family atmosphere with the presence of officials of the Health Center, parochial and religious leaders of the Diocese of Nacala and Nampula, among other guests. After the celebration presided by the Bishop of the Diocese of Nacala, Don Germano, we shared lunch. The CLM join together the team that helped acclimate the place, serving food, washing dishes, tidying everything back in place and supporting in every way possible. Sister Teresina, apart from the head of the organization, was also the godmother of the profession.

This is always an appropriate time for missionary animation. Thus, the lay group prepared a panel entitled “Daniel Comboni inspired”, which featured images and short texts about the four branches of the Comboni Family: Comboni Missionaries, Comboni Missionary Sisters, Secular Comboni Missionaries and Comboni Lay Missionaries.

Let us pray for sister Lilia and all vocations!

We are together!

CLM Carapira